I Did What Last Night?
by vampyregurl73
Summary: Set in the present. It's just one of those "girls nights out" that happen to provide years of fun and torment to come - but in a "we love you" kinda way. One Shot.


I Did _What _Last Night?

RATING: PG-13 for innuendo

DISCLAIMER: The standard - I don't own it, wish I did, I'm broke and you really don't want to work it out in trade – although the barter system works really well for me.

* * *

"Willow, you have to get up," Tara said as she moved around their bedroom.

Willow pulled the comforter over her head and groaned. "I don't wanna." Was the muffled reply as she rolled into a fetal position and whimpered.

"It was your idea to go out with Buffy and Faith last night, now get up!" Tara said loudly as she yanked back the curtains flooding the room with light, then grabbed the comforter, and yanked it off the bed.

Willow hissed like a vampire about to combust as Tara stood there holding the bed sheets. With one hand on her hip, and wearing a rare self-righteous smirk, she began to talk loudly as Willow tried to cover her head with pillows.

"You should have known better when we were going to a place Faith frequents that's called "The Inferno". Not only was that _not_bad enough, they were showing old John Waters movies on a loop featuring Divine! I have no sympathy for you, Willow. You tried to drink with the big dog, and proved you were the puppy. What were those things you guys were drinking anyway?"

"'Seven Levels of Hell', but they were pretty layered shots, baby, and they tasted good too," Willow whined.

Tara thought for a moment. "I thought there were nine levels of hell..."

"She probably couldn't fit another two in the shot glass," Willow groaned and lifted the pillow to hiss again. "Oh, you were being literal; I believe you're right, sorry the ol' brain is still a bit pickled."

Tara shook her head. "Did Faith at least get that bartender's number?"

"Which one?" Willow peaked out from under the pillow, this time smirking. "When Buffy left to go chat up the doorman, Faith pulled out all her tricks. The girl ignored her the whole night, maybe she knows Faith."

Tara sat on the edge of the bed and looked at Willow. "Will, _please_ get up we're going to be late, okay?" She leaned forward and kissed Willows forehead completely ignoring the puckered lips. "Are you kidding me? I'm not kissing you until you brush your teeth, I can still smell at least _three _of the layers of hell on you."

"Why aren't you hung over?" Willow pouted sitting up slowly with her hands over her eyes.

"Because I know better than to try and out drink a slayer," Tara said with a wink as she left the room.

Willow and Tara were seated side by side at a table waiting for Faith, Buffy and Dawn to arrive for lunch. Willow was sitting very still with a baseball cap, her sunglasses on and wearing ear plugs. Moving with slow deliberate gestures she drank copious amounts of water. The two sat comfortably in a silence, and Tara noticed a placard in the window of the book store across the street advertising a book signing that day.

Dawn was the first to show up, and greeted Tara with a hug then turned to Willow. When Willow didn't move, Tara shook her gently only to find she had fallen asleep sitting up. Rolling her eyes, she took Willow's ear plugs and the hat, refusing to give them back and instead handed her the bottle of aspirin from her purse.

"Are you sick, Will?" Dawn asked loudly with an evil grin. She had already talked to her sister and knew all the details about what happened on their "girl's night out".

"You could say that, Dawnie, and there's no need to yell," Willow said with her head in her hands.

"Baby, drink some more water, it'll help," Tara said and rubbed comforting circles on her back, starting to feel a little sorry for Willow, very little, but a little none the less.

Dawn and Tara chatted for a few minutes, while Willow groaned periodically. Dawn had texted Buffy again to say that they were going to order without them if they didn't hurry up, when she and Faith walked through the door. Buffy smiled brightly, while Faith resembled the uni-bomber. She on faded blue jeans, with had a dark hoodie on – hood up – dark sunglasses, and she was looking a little green around the gills.

"Well, from the looks of it neither of you won the great "Slayer vs. Wiccan 2012" drink off last night," Buffy giggled as she and Faith sat down looking at Willow. They both just groaned at her, and Willow pushed the bottle of aspirin over to Faith.

"Did you at least get her number, Faith?" Willow moaned.

Faith just mumbled something as she downed a handful of aspirin, and Buffy chirped in sweetly. "Nope... nada… struck out. Tommy the Doorman was very well informed, quite chatty too. There was no way poor little Faith here was ever going to get "Isis's" number."

Tara snickered. "Her name is _Isis_? Oh, Faith, really…"

"I know, I know," Faith moaned. "But you saw her, she's _hot_!"

"Well, let's just you aren't her type, and you won't be after she transitions either," Buffy said smugly.

Willow's head popped up and she looked at Tara, who raised an eyebrow. Dawn covered her mouth trying to smother her laughter.

Faith looked around the table with a clueless expression. "What, I don't get it."

Tara clears her throat and begins to speak, "Faith, sweetie…"

"You got us _that _drunk trying to pick up a transsexual, Faith!" Willow guffawed loudly. People at the few tables closest to them looked over the girls.

"What?" Faith said. "No way, man. Nuh uh – she's a _dude_?"

Buffy was laughing so hard she was crying. "Tommy told me all about it, and then showed me pictures of his husband and their two kids – Teacup Yorkies – "Dorothy" and "Toto", but "Toto" was the runt of the litter so they call him "Runt" – and oh my god, Teacup Yorkies are _so _cute too!"

Everyone around the table was laughing except Faith. "Yer killin' me here, B. killin' me! You knew the whole time?"

Buffy nodded as the waiter finally came over to take their orders. With the orders taken, they settle down for lunch and conversation after plenty of good natured ribbing of Faith. When they all stood outside after lunch, they looked across at the book store with the book signing going on.

"You wanna go, Will?" Tara asked.

"Not on your life, baby," Willow said.

"Why not, Will? You never turn down a book. I think it's genetically impossible," Buffy said.

Willow snickered. "Her books are one step up from the Harlequin Romance kind. Although you might be interested in her books, Buff. You know, all with the "throbbing members" since you struck out last night too, but hey, you never know, Faith, you might have gotten one last night." Willow laughed as she turned red.

The group laughed loudly, and as they passed the doors to the books store, a customer exited allowing Aerosmith's "Dude Looks like a Lady" to come out loudly through the door. Faith groaned as everyone laughed.

"I'm _never_ livin' this one down," she muttered.


End file.
